I am not a womanizer, I promise

March 16, 2026

The original title for this post was actually My first Collage. However, the current one is way catchier. It also better reflects the interaction that happened during the "art class" I went to a few days ago. Without further ado and no sugarcoating it, here it goes:

The full collage, overflowing with women cut from magazines — Pedro Delfino, *The Queen*, 2026.

Yes, a lot of women. As the art teacher said, I was being very vocal! Ok.

Back to the future

Although I used a similar technique to Kafka's in Metamorphosis (since I started with the climax (damn, this is getting so unintentionally sexual)), let's go back in time to humanize myself. My therapist said that I need to humanize myself more.

The exercise started with a bunch of random magazines, paper, pens, and utensils to paint. I thought it would be cool to just use images from the magazines.

Thankfully, no Playboy magazine was available (although vintage stores in Montreal love them, don't ask me why since supposedly they sell 2nd hand chic clothes… Sin City…). But, all other magazines had a pattern. A pattern my single dude brain (célibataire in French, fun word, I know) easily notices: pretty women. So, I decided to craft my collage about that.

In my defense, I started like this. On purpose, yes. After all, what I want is a wife. See, I am not a womanizer.

The beginning of the collage: a single woman in a white dress on purple paper — The first piece glued to the canvas.

More meaningfully, this is how it ends. Yes, the only elderly woman on my collage haha. I am not DiCaprio and I don't apply DiCaprio's rule (although my stats seem to converge to his stats lately haha)! Why did I pick this lady and put her on top?

Close-up of the elderly woman with a tiara at the top of the collage — The last piece added to the collage.

Because she symbolizes the Queen I want in my life — the woman I want to grow old with. Finally, she is on top of all the other ones. Another cool detail about my craft is the fact that I designed it to be overflowing with girls. Just like in my mind. Not really in my life. Even less in my heart.

A detail noticed by my teacher was my emphasis on the female lower body haha. She did not pick elegant words, but I will keep things here classy. Yeah, glutes & "coxudinha" are my Achilles heels. I am Brazilian, after all. And I am a back-end (back…./end/….) software engineer (ba dum tss!)!

A Rake's Progress, 3: The Tavern Scene by William Hogarth, c. 1733–1735, oil on canvas — William Hogarth, *A Rake's Progress, 3: The Tavern Scene*, c. 1733–1735. Oil on canvas.